The last month or so has been really strange for me.  I think a lot of it has to do with the pain and the drugs.  It's been four weeks as of today since I shot myself.  I'm amazed how much it still hurts, even though it's been healing really well.  If I don't take the pain pills, I'm in excruciating pain.  If I do take them, it stil hurts at times, but it's bearable.  There's a whole different downside to that though.

When I take the pain pills (all the time because I hate pain), nothing feels right.  It's depressing.  And beyond that, they have a tendency to make me nauseous, which is only amplified by the fact that I'm wearing my glasses instead of my contacts because I have pink eye.  The last few days, it's been hard to even stand up for very long. 

My glasses have astigmatism correction that my contacts don't have, so the world is in the wrong perspective.  That's a good metahpor for my mental state.